Akatsuki Therapy We make your problems worse!
by MissSquibler
Summary: Just as the title says tell the akatsuki ur problems and they'll 'help u' pfft help XD Author is either putting this on pause or canceling it.
1. WELCOME TO AKATSUKI THERAPY

Tobi: TOBI WELCOMES EVERYONE TO AKATSUKI THERAPY! 'CAUSE TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! :D

Pein: Yes, Welcome. I am your leader, and also the god of this facility. I rule everthing and everyone here.

Konan: Um, honey that's only because you have the most issues, and your threatened the others with a Spork.

Pein: O.o fear the Spork bishes.

Everyone except for Tobi: ~.~

Itachi: Hn…. We 'welcome' anyone who has any issues, problems whatever…

Zetsu: Yes we want to help you

**No! He lies, we want to eat you! Mwahahahaha!**

**THWACK!**

Tobi: **holding frying pan** Hehehehe silly Zetsu-san.!

Kisame: **comes out singing** I'm A Barbie Girl in a Barbie wo- O_o HOLY MUFFIN SNICKER DOODLES!

Everyone Except Itachi (because he sees Kisame do that ALL the time xD): what the Fuck (un)

Kisame: …. **poofs away**

Konan: **sighs** Anyways to get to the point, we want you to fill out a form. (review!~ you know you want to :D) It should say Name (doesn't have to be real) hair color, eye color, age, (again doesn't have to be real) your problem and the member/members tiy would like to talk to.

Sasori; Don't you have anything to say Sasori-Danna un?

Sasori: Milk…

Everyone except Sasori: What? (un)

Sasori: Whipped cream…

Deidara: what the fuck Danna?! Un!

Sasori: butter…

Deidara; **Walks over to Sasori, who has glasses on, a book in one hand and a pencil in the other.**

Sasori: low carbed, fat free, banana chocolate smoothie yogurt (._.)

Deidara: OH EM GEE DANNA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING UN!?!?!?!

Sasori: ice cre- **looks up** a cross word puzzle….

Deidara: what's milk got to do with it un!?

Sasori: it's a dairy based cross word puzzle… **goes back to puzzle**

Konan: err… anyways… Please drop by if you need any help, its free.

Kakuzu: ZOMMFGETFBBQ!?! NO MONEY!

Konan: …. Well attempt to stop by…

Hidan :CALM THE FUCK DOWN BITCH!

Everyone, well sorta: BAI~ (UN)


	2. itachi the truth!

Tobi: **spinning in office chair** WEEEE TOBI IS A GOOD BOY~ X3

Konan: … Alright guys we got our first appointment. **holds out the chart for the others to see**

Everyone except Konan and Tobi: **lean in and looks at it**

_Name: Lilyan Howard  
Age: 13  
Hair color: Blonde  
Eye color: Green  
problem: Obsession with Itachi  
Member I would like to talk to: Itachi duh :P  
Personality: Weird and Hyperactive, but can give one mean death glare and has  
a scary voice^^_

Kisame: hey Itachi looks like one of your fan girls are coming' in **snickers**

Itachi: …

**Doors fly open**

Lilyan: HIIII I'M HERE FOR MY APPOINTMENT!

Konan: Speaking of our patient…

Lilyan: **sees Itachi** OH MY GOD….! ITACHIIIIII! **flies at Itachi to give him a hug**

Kisame: INCOMING!

Itachi: Oh Shi- **gets glomped and just catches her** ./_\.

Konan: Well Itachi have a nice appointment with her~ **pushes Itachi and Lilyan Down the hall**

~~~In The room~~~

Itachi: …..

Lilyan: X3 hiii!~

Itachi: Hn. So… you have an attraction towards me I see….

Lilyan: ^//^ yes~

Kisame: **barges in** HEY ITACHI I HEARD YOU GOT THE FIRST PYCHOPATH!

Lilyan: **death glares and dark scary voice** what did you say????

Kisame; ._. **gulp** uh I meant I heard u got the first CLIENT

Itachi: **nods**

Kisame: … well… BAI~ **runs away**

Itachi: impressive….

Lilyan: **blushes** hehehe thanks.

Itachi: now about your obsession with me… As you know I am an S ranked crimmanal and I have killed my own family, except for my foolish brother Sasuke.

Lilyan: BUT YOU DO IT FOR A GOOD REASON!

Itachi: But I am a killer.

Lilyan: A HOTTTTTT KILLER!

Itachi: but a murder none the less…

Lilyan: ……

Itachi: ……

Lilyan: ……

Itachi: ……

Lilyan: OMG QUEER SILANCE!

Itachi: -/_\- right… err anyways… there is only one way to end your obsession….

Lilyan: ._. maybe an obsession is good…

Itachi: to late, TOBI!

Tobi: **comes in skipping little sparkles on him** HIIYA LILY-CHAN

Lilyan: TOBI HIII~

Itachi: Tobi, Lilyan here has an obsession with me. Your remember how we got the last one to stop their obsession?

Tobi: but Tobi thought Itachi-san didn't like what Tobi did, even though tobi was trying to be a good boy, cause Tobi is a good boy!

Itachi: well… for once you where a good boy… now… take Lilyan to the other room… and show her the truth…

Lilyan: .O. the truth?!

Itachi: yes the truth….

Tobi: **drags Lilyan to another room** come on Lily-chan TO THE TRUTH!

~~to another room~~~

Lilyan: ._.'' **looks around and sees a lot of pictures with Itachi and a lot of different people in each pick, mainly all guys…. Kissing…** OMG

Tobi: Tobi is sorry lily-chan has to see this, but Itachi-san is…. Gay

Lilyan: ._. …..*faints from so much yaoi and THE TRUTH!*

Tobi: :D TO THE CLOSET WITH THOU~ **drags Lilyan to the closet, but before that secretly slips Itachi's address and number into her pocket**8 Tobi is a good boy!

Konan: **sees Tobi dragging Lilyan to the closet** O.o were so going out of business thanks to this……

Pein: we'll just have to see…. Besides we forgot to mention to fine print

The Akatsuki isn't concerned for anyone or thing that gets harmed during their therapy, its their fault for coming here… idiot if you want to cancel your appointment now please say so… and please do not get angry at us if your appointment doesn't come out the way you want.

Konan: wow…. I didn't even know about that…

Pein: no one did except for me :D

Konan: … well… hopefully we'll see our next Appointment soon… if they don't get scared away….

Everyone: BAI (UN)


	3. Smart and Random

Konan: Ah, its been pretty queit…

Tobi: **runs in** TOBI IS SORRY TOBI IS LATE!

Hidan: Fuck..

Tobi: TOBI RAN INTO THE AKATSUKI'S NEXT CLIENTS!

Pein: don't you mean Client?

**Doors open to reveal two girls with RLY curly brown hair, and green eyes, though they were actually contacts, but who cares? They looked about 13-ish**

Emonnee/Ciara: Nope, he meant Clients **glare at each other **STOP COPING ME!

Emonnee: YOUR COPY ME

Ciara: NO YOU'RE COPYING ME!

Konan: **clears throat** Welcome… I see you're our next clients… all of our members are open who would you like to see?

Ciara: DEI-DEI-KUN!

Emonnee: WEASEL-KUN~

Deidara: **runs up to Ciara** WERE GOING TO HAVE SOO MUCH FUN TOGETHER YEAH!

Itachi: great another one….

Konan: BE NICE!

~~both go into a different room~~

Author: I would like to post a special note on this one, sense these two have problems talking in Union I will say when their in which room and with whom when they say the same thing it will appear as **THIS** so I don't have to keep switching between rooms. Starting with Deidei~

Deidara/Itachi(in separate rooms) So what's your problem (un)

**I CAN'T STOP TALKING IN UNION WITH CIARA/EMONNEE!**

Deidara: O.o oh wow un…

**PLEASE HELP **

Ciara: o.o

**STOP COPYING ME! NO YOU! WHY I OUT-**

Deidara: **covers Ciara's mouth** Shh un. I Have a solution yeah!

Ciara: REALLY DEI-DEI-KUN!?

Deidara: yup un. All you have to do Is talk stupid yeah.

Ciara: …. I don't get it…

Deidara: all you gotta do is…. **starts explaining**

~~~W/ Itachi and Emonnee~~~

Itachi: Hn, interesting…

Emonnee: T~T I hate this union stuff…

Itachi: its simple you just have to be smarter then her…

Emonnee: PFFFT THAT'S EASY!

Ciara: **yelling from other room** WTF DID YOU CALL ME!?

Emonnee: YOU HEARD ME!

Ciara: SAY THAT TO MY FACE

JUST STFU! ARRG NOT AGAIN, STOPPIT! YOU FIRST NO YOU, I WILL EAT YOU! NOM, NOM NOB! BLARB! ……. T~T

Itachi: queit…

Emonnee: T~T Mhmm…

Itachi: now you must think logical

Emonnee: Hmm… Personally I have always been apposed to utterly facesious rambling of the more extreme of the antidisestablishmentarians and proponents of the neo-socialist regime.

Itachi: /_\ yeah that works…

Emonnee: YOSH! **glomps Itachi** YOU'RE THE GREATEST WEASEL-SAN!

~~~Deidei and Ciara~~~

Deidara: got it?

Ciara: I would very much like to see the slides of your liver operation but first I must go and hack my head into tiny pieces with my comb.

Deidara: YAY YOU LIKE SO GOT IT DOWN YEAH!

Ciara: YAY **glomps Deidara**

**Both the guys and girls exit their rooms and go into the main lobby**

Hidan: About the fuck time, what in Jashin's name where you guys doing in there?!

Deidara: I was successful un.

Itachi: hn. So was I…

Pein: well lets see it then…

Emonnee: Well my good man, I would like to point out how one who speaks in Union can not be taught to 'try it out' For as the mind makes it to say something that is the lesser option that the other would pick.

Ciara: YOU SMELL LIKE PEACHES! :D

Pein: …….. Well… there not talking in Union….

Sasori: Pfft, the brat can actually do something right for once.

Deidara: What was that, yeah?

Sasori: Hard on hearing?!

Deidara: Well I might be hard on hearing for you, you suck at art un!

Sasori: Oh and I presume you actually have a talent for it, my art is everlasting, why destroy something the moment it's born, when one can cherish it forever, then it can be passed on forever.

Deidara: Yeah then you can get tired of it Un! Art is a bang and should be cherished for a short moment and disappear the next yeah!

Sasori: damn blonde…

Deidara: WHAT WAS THAT HMMM?!

Sasori: you heard me, wait I forgot your deaf on hearing.

Deidara: WHY I OUTTA!

Sasori/Deidara: **glare at eachother**

Man those two act like babies… O.o NUUU IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN

Itachi: Emonnee You know what to do..

Emonnee: Really? incongruently personified? The fellatio of my oral transfixation has absolutely no preoccupational hazards that should lend one into personal beliefs of my individual credibility and reliability. Perhaps if another might be so inclined to juxtapose their clandestine oral vestiges the response of the statement might be made clear.

All Akatsuki: what…?

Ciara: ._. no comment…

Pein: **rubbing his temples** please.. your cured… just … leave x_x

Tobi: TOBI'S BRAIN HURTS T~T

Itachi: **chuckles** heh I taught her well….

Deidara: COME ON CIARA THINK OF SOMETHING!

Ciara: There's a lot to do when you're a kid - spiders to catch, girls to poke in the eye - stuff to be getting on with.

Pein: THAT'S IT GET OUT!

Deidara: **rofling**

Tobi: **hugs Ciara and Emonnee** TOBI WILL MISS CIA-CHAN AND EMO-CHAN

Konan: Emo-chan..? She's not really emo…

Tobi: FINE TOBI WILL MISS RANDOM-CHAN AND SMART-CHAN T~T

AW TOBI WE'LL MISS YOU TWO! …..

**Ciara: … maybe we can use this to our advantage…**

**Emonnee: You think so.. O.o?**

**Ciara: think… if we scare the Akatsuki with our union talking and now with out knew found random/smartness**

**Emonnee: you thinking what I'm thinking?**

WORLD DOMINATION! BOO YA! high *five each other*

**Pein: now they have been cured! :D**

**Konan: ……. Great….**

**Emonnee: Thank you my good people, may the Milky Way galaxy and all those humans who inhabit it be with you.**

**Ciara: PEACE OUT~**

both girls skip out of the therapy building, plotting their first victim

**Konan: **looks at Itachi and Deidara** you've created two monsters….**

**Pein: I'M SO PROUD OF YOU **sniff** I TAUGHT YOU BOTH SO WELL, **looks at the others** WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE DEIDARA AND ITACHI!**

**Tobi: BUT TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!**

**Pein: …. Still…**

**Konan: **yawns** that's it I'm going home**

**Every1 else; yup (un)**

**I would like to thank Lily and Spring for their review and also thank ****Vildarra she was my first reviewer! Also chapter three will have a special bonus two it cuz I am just that awesome lol anyways CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL SOON UPDATES WILL BE SOON!**


	4. GET HIGH ON LIFE!

Konan: Pein-Sama~

Pein: **looks up from **_**Leader's Weekly**_ What is it Konan?

Konan: We have a job application from a Takahira-Sama

Pein: Hmm, When will she be coming in?

Konan: Um I I'm not su-

Takahira-Sama(me lol): I'M HERE NOW COWARE IN FEAR!

Konan: Now..

Pein: Ah so you're the new person?

Takahira-Sama: Yes I am the new person I would like to apply here because unlike all of you I have compassion for people.

Sasori: Pfft, Don't lie Taka-chan.

Takahira-Sama: SASO-KUN! **glomps Sasori**

Pein: You know this nut job?

Takahira-Sama: Pierced orange haired freak say what now?

Pein: …… **sulks** SHUT UP MEANY!

Konan: ' anyways…Congrats u got the job

Takahira-Sama: OH YEAH GOES ME! **dances and grins** hear that Sasori-kun we can hang out all the time now!

Sasori: joy to the world **rolls eyes**

**The Therapy building doors open to reveal a girl with ****Red hair like a little brighter then crimson. Eye's are crimson**

Tobi: TOBI WELCOMES NEXT CUSTERMER!

Usagi: Hi. **takes a clipboard and fills it out then hands it to Takahira-Sama**:

_name: Takashi Usagi (last name then first) but please call me Usagi  
age:13  
hair color: crimson red__  
eye color: red 9I LOVE THE COOLOR RED!)  
problem: low self esteem & confidence, can't stick up for self when teased at  
school  
personality: hyper, happy, shy, outgoing around friends, hides my feelings of  
sadness that rarely appear_

Pein: sense she did not list a member, we will do a group meeting with her, sense we have nothing better to do '

**they lead Usagi to a large room with lots of seats as they all sit in a large circle**

Takahira: Oi Saso-Danna she has the same problems as I used to have!

Sasori: **nods**

Usagi: O.O you have the same problems?

Takahira: yerp~

Usagi: anddd?

Hidan: I BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF THEM **grins**

Kakuzu: Oh flicking people in the forehead is now considered kicking people's assign **flicks Hidan's forehead** HAHA I JUST KICKED YOUR ASS!

Usagi/Takahira: ''

Pein: **clears throat** Anyways to help you with your problems you must-

Tobi: TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI BROUGHT DONUTS!

Usagi: ._. Tobi IS a good boy… **takes a donut**

Takahira: **does the same** X3 yesh her is

Pein: -_-* ANYWAYS!

Sasori: its simple… you must slowly turn them into puppets while their still alive…

Deidara: PFFT!, PFFFFTTT! BLOW THEM UP YEAH!

Takahira: Sasori's is way more fun… but explosives to make a funny sound…

Usagi: so true… but is there a less killing way?

Pein: where the AKATSUKI! What else do u expect?

Takahira: All you have to do is find someone who is the same as you, ya know?

Sasori: …. Fine tell her the less fun way….

Takahira: 3 luv you two Saso-kun

Usagi: but what if no one likes me?

Takahira well then the whole Akatsuki and me can put this in one simple sentence ready?

Everyone: SCREW THEM YOU GOT US!

Usagi: T~T R-rly?

Hidan: fuck here comes the happiness…

Takahira: **hugs Usagi** OF COURSE~ I am always here to talk to, and so is the rest of the Akatsuki!

Every1 except me and Usagi: We are?! (Un)

Takahira: **glares and scary voice** **YES**

Akatsuki: ._. yeah where here (un)

Usagi: YAY!

Zetsu: See now we can all be friends 3

**Friend's why can't we eat them?**

We Don't want to eat them!

Usagi the rest of the Akatsuki: ._.'

Tobi: Does Tobi need to show Zetsu-san to the kitchen again?

Zetsu: **If there's humans yes…**

Tobi: **takes out a wooden rolling pin and bonks Zetsu on the head with it.** Nighty night Zetsu-san

Usagi: … Are you sure you guys are certified Therapists?

Pein: OF COURSE NOT!

Kakuzu: Were only for it for the money!

Takahira: Umm Kakuzu ' were doing this for free…

Kakuzu: WHAT THE HELL! ARE YOU SERIOUS!? HOW ARE WE PAYING FOR THIS BUILDING THEN?!~

Pein: …. We have our ways….

Tobi: YEAH ZETSU-SAN STEALS POT FROM LITTLE KIDS AND SELLS IT ON EBAY!

Sasori; so that's why Taka-chan is so high…

Takahira: SHHH!

Usagi: Pfft you do pot? I DO MUFFINS

Takahira: AMEN ON THAT!

Pein: You need to get a life…

Takahira: ORLY?! Well what if I got a life, lets just say I magicly came across a life.

Pein: go on…

Takahira: What would I do with it? Wear it like a sweater? Or would I eat it…

Usagi: No, it would just go down your intestines then be digested and shitted out..

Takahira: I KNOW!

Usagi & the whole Akatsuki: O.o

Takahira: YOU COULD SNIFF IT! DON'T BE A LOW LIFE! GET HIGH ON LIFE!

Tobi/Usagi: YOSH! :D

Pein: …. As I was saying, Yes usagi we're all here for you…

Hidan: Screw those fuckers, I can give them to Jashin!

Kakuzu: Maybe I can sell them… it would make some money…

Konan: .-. well it seems we have to go **pushes Usagi out of the door** BAI!

Takahira: Bai friend :3

Usagi: bai~

Pein: now don't forget we have a new person to talk to Taka-

Takahira: MEEEE~ TAKAHIRA-SAMA! I LUV U ALL DON'T FORGET TO GET HIGH ON LIFE BAI 3


	5. IMPORTANT sowwy TT

IMPORTANT!!!

It might take me a little longer to update now… seems I have left my notebook in school that had the next chapter in it.. So Insa-Ne if you are reading this, you will be put on sometime in mid January. Sorry for the Stalling ness.

Also… I am TRYING to update as much as possible!

Also I need to send two special thanks:

ONE FOR ALL MY FABULOUS REVEIWERS

THEN!

I would LUV to thank Murasaki Shikibu 3 she turned this series into a comic and it is AWSOME LOL Luvvvv it so much! If u can keep making 'em~

Luv you all~

Takahira-sama3333

P.S. I'll also be working on meh other stories here are the ones I will be updating:

High School Wars

Swinging Friendship

Akatsuki Therapy! WE MAKE YOUR PROBLEMS WORSE!

In that order too LOL anyways ttfn~


	6. HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

MWAHHAAA MEET MEH LITTLE FRIEND, A CHRISTMAS AKATSUKI THERAPY SPECAIL!

Hidan: TIS THE SEASON TO BE GOD DAMN FREEZING! **dances around if you even want to call it that, drunkly**

Pein: DON'T SAY MY NAME IN VAIN!

Konan: …. ~.~

Tobi: **got mysteriously drunk even though he didn't remove his mask** WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE **oh wait that's normal tobi… huh…**

Deidara: AND THEN I TOTALLY BLEW HIM UP YEAH! **totally exaggerating a killing of his**

Sasori: Orly?

Deidara: YARLY!

Sasori: ORLY!?

Deidara: YARLY!

Sasori: O.o Cerealously!

Deidara: TOASTILY!

Sasori: ._. wooh **to drunk to argue**

Deidara: Yeaa~

Takahira-Sama: **bangs on the Akatsuki doors** YO OPEN UP!

Kisame: **groans sitting on the sofa** DO WE HAAVE TO?!

Taka: … If you want to have gold fish babies you better…

Kisame: **runs over and unlocks all 10 locks and opens the door quickly **HEY THERE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WHERE AT THE DOOR :D

Taka: **has a huge thing of presents blocking her view** quiet. No. see. Carry. Box, now die. Else.

Kisame: **takes almost all boxes and sets them near the already overfilled tree**

Pein: Wow… we srsly need two trees

Taka: -_-* WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I SLAVED TO GET THAT TREE! SLAAAAVED!

Sasori: Taka-chan… All you did was take you and Tobi and went sledding down the hill while Deidara and I cut down the tree.

Taka: … **coughs** hey well pulling that sled up and down with Tobi is haard!.

Sasori: -_-' course it is…

Pein: Think you brought enough stuff? **looks at everything, raising an eyebrow.**

Taka: ._. I asked myself that very same question when I fell down and had Kisame's present fell on my face.

Itachi: Kisame… sounds like you got a heavy present…

Kisame: 33 I LUV U TAKAHIRA-SAMA!

Taka: Tffp Who doesn't?

Pein/Itachi/Hidan/Kakuzu: ….. **cough**

Taka: ……….. Tfffffffp **picks up the presents that say: Itachi; Pein; Hidan; Kakuzu and heads near the fire.**

Pein/Kakuzu/Hidan: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU **does like the matrix running slowly to the fire, still mouthing the Nuu**

Taka: **looks at them with a wtf look**

Itachi: Idc If you burn them…..

Taka: … ONLY CUZ ITS CHRISTMAS! **puts them back under the tree**

Pein/Hidan/Kakuzu: we 3 Takahira-chan

Taka: ITS TAKAHIRA-_**SAMA**_

Pein: .. w/e **goes back and sits next to Konan who just suddenly appeared out of like NO WHEREZ and sat on the couch!**

Taka: =_=' anywayz! It's fooood time :3

Pein: … Since when do You cook?

Taka: Since Saso-kun taught me~

Sasori: '

Kisame/Hidan/Kakuzu/Deidara/Tobi/Pein: :L FOOOOOOOOODD! **all run over to the table like savages and wait to be served** 83 foooood

Taka: ^^' **goes into the kitchen comes out with way to much food for a normal group of people, but this ISN'T a normal group of people of course**

Tobi; **takes a huge pile everyone watches to see him remove his mask, but Takahira puts food in front of them and they get distracted y all the food suddenly food in front of Tobi is already gone :O**

Every1 except for Taka and Tobi: ._.'

~~~~PRESANT TIMMMEE~~~~

Kakuzu: THERE BETTER BE MONEY!

Hidan: better be something fucking worth my Jashin good time…

Tobi: tobi ish a good boy 3

Pein: **picks up a random present** Itachi this one is for you from Takahira

Itachi: **takes it and opens the present and sees earplugs**

Taka: I hear Kisame's snoring to, Don't worry they'll work trust me.

Itachi: thanks…

Pein: **picks up another** this one is from You all to me…. ._.' **opens it and sees a mirror** OMG HOW DID YOU GUYS KNOW!?

All: -_-''''

Pein: Next~ Deidara from Sasori **throws present toward Dei-dei**

Deidara: **opens and sees a how to build Puppets for Dummies** WTF UN?!

Sasori: So you learn REAL art. **Smirks**

Deidara: _ Tch and playing with dolls are art? Art is something that should be cherished one second and disappear the next.

Sasori: AS IF! Art should be everlasting, to be cherished forever

Taka: =_= STFU BOTH OF YA!

Pein: … next is **picks up present** this is to Takahira from Tobi

Taka: x3 Aww thx Tobi

Tobi: TOBI ISH A GOOD BOY!

Taka: **opens present** oh meh god… **takes out a new set of daggers, a Tobi key chain, A Sasori plushy, A Hidan dart board**

Hidan: ._. why is there a fucking dart board and why the hell is my face on it?!

Taka:

No reason…. **glomps Tobi** thank youuu~

Tobi: :3 Takahira-sama is welcome

Pein: Next is…

~~~~~~~AFTER PRESANTS~~~~~~~`

Hidan: HAHAHAHAHA AN ORGANGE MASK?! **falls out of chair drunkly and hugs a pillow, drooling**

Tobi: TT~TT ish kewl cuz tobi ish a good boy!

Taka: yersh tobi ish a good boy!

Pein: Pfft, but I'm better…. IN BED!

Kakuzu/Hidan/Deidara: xD

Konan/Sasori/Taka: -_-' Idoits…

Sasori: So Taka what did you get?

Taka: :3 well of course from you I got a Kawaii Puppet, From Kakuzu I got **looks through stuff** ._.''''er… well you don't want to know… Hidan gave me …. Hair gell and both him and Pein gave me…. A picture of themselves, autographed….

Sasori: -_-;;;

Taka: Konan gave me a bunch of random stuff sketch pad, perfume, ect… Tobi, gave me bunch of stuff x3 then… Kisame… I got …. ……

Sasori: well? What did you get?

Taka: A ….

Kisame: I GAVE HER A CONDOM :D

Sasori: …… **walks away from Kisame, leaving poor Takahira to fend forherself**

Kisame; Hey just you and me now want to put that Condom to use?

Taka: O.o …. Hey is that Itachi's goldfish over there in a mini-skirt? (read my High School Wars for the Goldfish Joke)

Kisame: O^O OH MEH GAWD WHERE?! **Looks**

Taka: **runs away**

Kisame: ._. I don't see her… hey where didya run off to?! **shrugs and goes to get more beer**

Pein: ALRIGHT, TIME TO SING OUR FAVORITE HOLIDAY SONG!

All: YOSH!

~~Heres the song: .com/watch?v=8lNztwL1xHI&feature=channel_page cuz I'm to lazy to type I DO NOT OWN THAT!~~~~~ (pretend Taka's in there XD)

Taka: Hey Saso-kun why didn't you sing?

Sasori: …. I'm to cool for this shit…

Taka: -_-'''' TFFP AS IF! ANYWAYS! I hope everyone out there had/has a wonderful Christmas! We might just see ya for new years! ^_-

Everyone: CYA!


	7. Hidan and Dancing pink elephants :D

Me: :D alright well Here is my first actual A.T crackfic in a longggg time. Hope ya'll laugh and enjoy urselfz~ might not be on as much I got the wii! :D but I will try.

Kakuzu: **sighs**

Hidan: What the fuck is the matter?

Kakuzu: … There's no money…

Hidan: Pfft! I now a hell of a fucking great way to make money bitch!

Kakuzu: Rly? 3

Hidan: FUCK YEAH! Just make a sacrifice to Jashin!

Kakuzu: ….. **just walks away**

Fague-Hague (silent Ue at the end ._.'): **walks in quietly and takes a random form filler outer thinger maggiger.**

Takahira-sama/Tobi: WELCOME!

Taka-sama: Welcome to the Akatsuki Therapy Clinic. Here we'll either fix your problems, or make them ten times worse :D

Fague: YAY! **quickly fills out form and hands it to Taka** :3

Taka-sama: **reads it over and holds back a laugh **HIDAN, KAKUZU SASO-KUN!

Many crashes are heard from one of the back rooms, followed by many curses, mutters, and groan.

Sasori: **comes out covered in flower** …. What?

Hidan: What the fuck do you want?!

Taka: …. Are you talking shit to me?

Hidan: What the fuck do you think bitch?!

Taka: ….

Deidara: TAKE COVER!

Tobi: ._-

Pein: oh shit… **grabs Konan and hides under desk**

Kakuzu: **quickly grabs Taka-sama a stress ball and watches it splode for her anger**

Hidan: ._. s-s-sorry?

Taka: YOU BETTER BE OR I'LL RIP OFF YOU LEGS AND STICK THEM ON YOUR HEAD! (thx Edward elric XD)

Hidan: y-yes **sees Fague's scarlet eyes looking at him, he looks back trying to see what she's thinking, then see's her trying not to hold back a laugh.** ._.*

Taka: ANYWAYS **glares at Hidan** Fague-Hague here needs some help Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu you three will be helping her.

Sasori: **wiping flower off himself** Fine…

Kakuzu: Why do you have flower all over yourself Sasori?

Sasori: … Don't ask… **was trying to bake a cake**

Kakuzu: That's a waste of money…

Taka: GO NOW SLAVES! OR ELSE I WILL RELEASE THY WIPPING ON THEE'!

Hid/Kak/Saso: ….. **turn away and lead fague to room**

Pein: T~T they never listen to me that well….

Konan: it's alright I listen to you.

Pein: :3 yay!

~~~In room~~

Sasori: So… what seems to be the problem?

Hidan: this better be fucking quick, I got a sacrifice to make.

Fague: wellll…

Hidan: **already impatient** GET GOING!

Fague: Ican'tstopseeingHidandancingwithpinkelepants,withakawaii(cute)Kakuzu!~

Sasori: …. **holding back a laugh**

Hidan: O_o

Kakuzu: XD

Sasori: well, it seems your having **snickers** some interesting hallucinations…

Hidan: O_o I DO NOT FUCKING DANCE WITH NO DAMN PINK ELEPANTS!

Sasori: … Well we have no proof you don't…

Hidan: SHUT THE HELL UP BITCH!

Kakuzu: ._. …. Cute?

Fague: ^-^;

Sasori: Anyways… There are several possible answers for this.

Fague: **waits and listens**

Sasori: Well there is always medication, but unless you have money your screwed.

Fague: Yeah no munneh~

Hidan: WTF IS MUNNEH~?

Fague: UR MOM!

Hidan: DON'T TALK BAD ABOUT MOTHER!

Sasori: -_-' settle down…

Hidan: HMPH! **sits down crosses his arms and legs and looks away**

Sasori: Another solution, is have you perhaps hit your head lately?

Fague: …. Idk

Sasori: Well in some cases even if you didn't hit you're a head, maybe getting bonked on the head, not enough to cause real trouble but enough for the problem to fade away.

Hidan: **smirks** sounds painful…

Sasori: Not really, depends…

Hidan: **poofs, then appears behind Fague a huge ass mallet from like no where in his hands** LET'S SEE HOW FUCKING PAINFUL THIS IS MWAHAHA

Fague/Kakuzu: O.o

Sasori: -_-; Hidan do-

Hidan: **WHACK! Hit's Fague right square on the head, she goes unconscious** Heheh that was fun…

Zetsu: **appears** Oh my good golly gosh! Is she alright?!

**Who cares I'm hungry, she's fainted; LET'S EAT HER MWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA**

Sasori: No Zetsu… TOBI GET IN HERE!

Tobi: TOBI IS HERE CAUSE TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!

Sasori: you **points to Tobi** take her **points to Fague** Closet, now.

Tobi: RIGHT AWAY SASORI-SAMA! **drags Fague to THE CLOSET :OOO have fun~**

Taka-Sama: **comes in** I heard mid evil laughing ._. where are the foolish humans that I must demolish!

Sasori: Hidan knocked out Fague, no humans sorry. Anyways… ' I'm bored I'm going to raid a whole nation~ :3

Taka-sama: OMG I'M COMING TOO!

Saso/Taka: **leaves**

Hidan: That was fucking fun I feel better now!

Kakuzu: UR LUCKY WHERE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS OR WE'D BE SUED FOR LOTS OF MONEY!

Hidan: **shrugs** oh well Anyways I'm going to go sarifice some loser bai!

**Me: woot done anyways ^-^ I hope no hard feelins fague :D anyways try getting meds or run into a wall or door head first D: that MAY help as Saso-kun said**


	8. Takahira has a temper

Sasori: Ah, the New Year how… interesting.

Pein: Another year to plan world domination; WHAHAHAHA!

Konan: -_-'

Taka: **comes on looking tired, holding what seems to be her third cup of coffee for that day** …..

Sasori: What's wrong Taka-chan?

Taka: s-stupid…. K-k-k-kisame…

Itachi: **comes in angry, and tired looking** ……………………..

Sasori: **quirks an eyebrow ?**

Taka/Itachi: Kisame…. Snoring… loud

Sasori: -o- I see..

Tobi: **shaking rattles and shit** weee new years! Weeeeeeeeeeeee Tobi is a good boy!

Taka: …. -_-*

Itachi: must… not… kill…

Deidara: Brat, shut up yeah!

Tobi: b-but Tobi ish a good boy!

Taka: … you're going to be a dead boy if you keep making noise **dark aura around her**

Tobi: Alright Takahira-chan~ **stops**

Kisame: **comes in grinning** AHH I SLEPT SOOOO GEWD!

Itachi/Taka: **glare at Kisame, you can just feel the lasers shooting from their eyes**

Kisame: Jeez what's your guy's problem eh?

Taka: …. **walks away motioning for Kisame to follow**

Kisame: **shrugs and follows**

Taka: Kisame-san **sweet voice smiling innocently**

Kisame: ._. oh shit let me out of here **goes to run away, but Taka locks the door, a vicious grin on her face**

Taka: Kisame… do you know how loud you snore at night?

Kisame: ^-^ I-I s-snore?

Taka: Yes… and very loudly I might add.

Kisame: ' Well, uh sorry..

Taka: I COULDN'T EVEN TURN MY MP3 LOUD ENOUGH TO BLOCK YOUR FUCKING SNORING! DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD THAT IS HMM? NO I BET NOT CAUSE YOU SLEEP LIKE A FUCKING LOG! EITHER YOUR GOING TO FIND SOMETHING TO STOP SNORING OR ME AND ITACHI ARE GOING TO FUCKING PUT YOU IN A GAINT POT W/ VEGGIES AND MAKE STEW OUT OF YOU! GOT THAT FISH-BOY!

Kisame: ._. y-y-yes ma'am.

Taka: ^_^ good I'm glad we've come to an understanding… now go enjoy New Yrs… **dark voice** cause if your not careful it could be your last!

Kisame: ._. **quickly leaves**

Both: **join others in the lounge**

Taka: **sits in between Deidei and Sasori** ^.^

Sasori/Deidara: **looks at each other then at Taka **what did you do? (un)

Taka: Put him in his place :3 YO ITACHI PROBLEM SOLVED! **yells last part**

Itachi: x/_\X Hn.. **goes back to sleeping with his eyes open **(He strikes me as someone who can do that ._.' and it creeps me out XD)

Pein: Well I would like to congratulate all of you so far, we haven't gotten sued or yelled at once :3

Kakuzu: thank kami/Pein/Jashin for that (so many gods XD)

Hidan: that's cause we're so fucking good!

Taka: **closes eye falling asleep** meh….

Sasori: **rolls eyes**

Deidara: :D **gets out sharpie**

Sasori: **gives him a I-Wouldn't-do-that-if-I-were-you look**

Deidara: **holds his hand up that doesn't have the sharpie and both him and the hand stick their tongues out.**

Sasori: -_-'

Deidara: **starts doodling on Taka's face** xD

~~~1 hr later~~~

**nobody except Dei-dei and Saso-kun see Taka's face**

Pein: only a few more minutes left!

Taka: **wakes up everyone sees her face, gets a mirror and looks** DEIDARA!

Pein/Konan/Several others: 10

9

8

Taka: **pulls on rope and a bucket of water go to land on Deidara but gets Sasori instead**

Pein/Konan/some others: 6, 5, 4

Sasori: **throws several paintballs toward Taka who ducks, the paint balls hit Konan and Pein.**

Konan/Pein: -_-* …

Hidan/Tobi/Kakuzu: 2……1 ….. 0! HAPPY NEW YEARS!

*some takes a picture it shows;

Sleeping Itachi,

Purple faced Pein

Hot pink faced Konan.

Scared Kisame

Glaring, Takahira w/ Dei-dei ROX on her forehead, a 'stache and loser written all over her face

Smirking Deidara

Wet Sasori

Happy Kakuzu and Hidan

And Tobi… hell how would we know not like you can see his face.

Well this was going to be a longgggg New Year night ~.~ hope you had good holidays sorry for it being late and I thought I uploaded this chapter turns out I accidentally uploaded my HSW story onto this one ^^; sorry for the mix up.


	9. BOOOM SASUKE GO BOOM!

Tobi: Wee Tobi has arrived! **comes in with DYNAMIC ENTRY!**

Takahira-sama: **huggles** Tobi-kun~

Itachi: **sitting on a chair reading a book. Looks up as he hear the door to the 'therapy' building and sees a girl with wavy dark brown hair, bright green eyes and she was wearing a ****neck black long sleeve shirt and short black silt skirt with a red strip running down the middle and fish nets. She looked around 13-ish.** ….?

???: **walks up to Itachi an annoyed look on her face** I need….. therapy….

Itachi: Hn…. What is your name?

Ayahana kio: Ayahana kio

Itachi: **sighs** Who do you need to see…?

Ayahana: Either you or Deidara…

Itachi: **sighs once more** Hn comes with me, I have nothing better to do….

Takahira: HAVE FUN WEASEL-KUN

Tobi: Hey Taka-chan rhymed!

Taka: :D I pwn all!

Itachi: **glares at the two and leads Ayahana down the hall into a random 'therapy' room** Sit down..

Ayahana: Whatever… **sits**

Itachi: ………. So what is your problem…?

Ayahana: Well….. I have an obsession with Sasuke-ku-jsa;d

Itachi: **covers her mouth** Shh if Takahira senses any fan girls of my foolish brother you'll end up dead.

Ayahana: Fatfer (whatever XD)

Itachi: **removes his hand** And what else?

Ayahana: I love yaoi, and blowing/burning things up.

Itachi: **eye twitches at yaoi** …. Well the last part is fine… and a I guess the yaoi part isn't anything for you to worry about,…. That's what Takahira-sama says at least… then…

~~Back in the lobby thinger~~~

Taka: Hmm I got a bad feeling there's a Sasugay fan girl in the building….

Pein: Let's not hurt this one… were taking out to many innocent people… **looks at over filled closet full of dead and unconscious peoplez.**

???: **walks in** Hi I are Felicia Uchiha and I ne- OMG TOBI! HI- OMG I'M IN A THERAPY LOBBY ROOM THINGER! And I need therapy :3

Taka: ._. … Well you came to the right place… maybe.. now who is it you need to see?

Felicia: Well Doesn't matter really so… PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!

Taka: O.o Umm… Well… PEIN!

Pein: **walks out w/ all his pierced glory** What is it..?

Taka: Congrats your first real one on one patient has fun~

Pein: Fine.. **grabs Felicia and leads her to a room across from the one Ayahana and Itachi is in.** Alright what is your problem **sits down and crosses his legs**

Felicia: Well you se- OMG HOW MANY FRICKEN PEIRCINGS DO YOU GOTS?!

Pein: … None of your business… it seems you have ADD.. just my luck…

~~With Itachi and Ayahana~~

Ayahana: But what about my 'you know who' obsession?

Itachi: Hn… I can't believe you like that foolish boy..

Ayahana: Hn I like who I like…

Itachi: Well how much would you like it if he where to oh I don't know… explode right in front of your very eyes (Author: HELLZ YA THAT'S MY MAN ITACHI! WOOt!)

Ayahana: Your wouldn't…

Kisame: **out of no where with a flashlight under his face** MWAHAHAHAHA HE WOULD! KU KU KU KU KU KU KU KU!

Itachi: Kisame is right…

Ayahana: …. I don't believe you…

Itachi: **sighs** … you asked for it… Kisame call _**HER **_

Kisame: **takes a deep breath** …. TAKAHIRA-SAMA WE HAVE A STUBBORN SASUKE FANGIRL IN ROOM … 2114324213455

"WHAT!?!"

**BOOM**

**SMASH**

"ACCCCK!"

**POOF**

Takahira: **stood before the three and dead serious look on her face** … We where only trying to offer you our help… and what do you do….? You're a Sasuke… fangirl… Now normally I would be nicer, but today my niceness has run dry, and Sasuke is finished… **A wide insane smile crosses her face as suddenly a dark aura surrounds her. She takes out a button. A piece of the ceiling brake and a tide up sasuke comes down a giant TNT bomb right near his crotch (yes Ik painful no?)**

Ayahana: O_o T-t-t-that's f-f-fake r-r-right?

Takahira: **Continues to Smirk evilly** ….

Sasuke: KDSJILFJOIAWEJIOOIOOSAFWE (GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND THAT CRAZY BITCH IS DEAD!)

Takahira: Tsk, tsk… Sasuke… Sasuke… Your so naïve.. and so is any Sasuke fangirl now … Ayahana I will let you kiss sasuke real quick and then you may take your leave. And then everyone's precious Sasuke-_kun _can die most painfully… Fwahahahaaha

~~W/ Pein and Felicia~~~~

Pein: **sighs** Well this has to be quick cause Sasuke is about to die… Anyways to fix your problem you must… uh… **thinks** … Well hmm… I guess you could lock yourself in one of those fluffy white rooms and spend the rest of your life, lonely and never talk… SOOO OFF TO THE BRIG WITH THEE!

Hidan: **coems in w/ ropes and shit and quickly ties Felicia up and throws her in a white fluffy room where the only thing in there is PAC MAN CUZ HE OWNZ ALL!**

Felicia: NYAA~ KAMI DAMNIT!

~~With others (Taka ect.)~~

Taka: NIGHT NIGHT SASUGAY! **Pressing… THE BIG RED 'DO NOT PUSH' BUTTON!** MWAHAHAHA

Sasuke: **splodes** ACK- **dies**

Ayahana: NUUU T~T I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO KISS HIM **screams so loud that five huge fish tanks, including Kisame's explodes**

Kisame: NUUUU! **grabs plastic cups to save the fishehs** my bed… **points at Ayahana** UUUUUUU! GET OUUUTTTTT **kicks Ayahana out of the building while she cries about sasuke**

Taka: **yawns** Well I feel better :3 **skips away**

Itachi: have fun cleaning this Kisame … **walks away**

Taka: Pein-san how did your meeting go

Pein: It was quick and easy ^=^

Taka: Ahh another mission completed :D NIGHT!


	10. Medication Mishaps

Takahira: Ahh It's Sunday….

Pein: Yes, the day when you all should be praising me ^=^

Taka: Yeaahhh… no..

Pein: Hey I trie… T=T

Taka: Yeaahhh… no… **hears the front doors open** Hey since when are we open on Sundays…?

Pein: **shrugs and sees a girl cherry red hair and violet eyes and looked around 15** Welcome to Akatsuki Therapy how may we he-

???: I NEED FUCKING HELP SO YOU BETTER BE ABLE TO HELP ME! … **starts to tear up** Or Sachi will be very sad… **smiles** So please help me :3 **dark aura forms** OR ELSE I WILL BRAKE EVERY LIMB IN YOUR **smile** godly body!

Pein: O=o Uh well… alright. Who do you want to see..?

Sachi: DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER! Just please get me someone that can help…

Taka: ._. Sorry I'm off duty today '

Pein: **smirks evilly** Taka you and Tobi can deal with her!

Taka: O-o' Uhhh goody! **major sarcasm**

Tobi: YAY TOBI GETS TO HELP, TOBI WIIL DO TOBI'S BEST CAUSE TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!

Pein: Just go already.

Taka/Tobi/Sachi: **go into the room right next to where sasuke sploded :D enters room and all three sit down**

Tobi: TOBI IS SO HAPPY THAT TOBI CAN HELP PRETTY LADY SACHI **insert heart**

Sachi: **emo ish voice** Well I'm not happy to **smiles happily** To be here on such a… WONDER DAY Believe IT!

Taka: Hmm seems you have a bad case of major mood swings, Hmm? **Bored look on her face**

Sachi: What's it to ya?

Takahira: Well do you want us to help you or not?! **anger filed voice**

Sachi: **eyes start to water** I-I is s-sorry.. **smiles** So can you plleeeaasseeee help Sachi?!

Tobi: YES, TOBI AND TAKAHIRA-SAMA WILL HELP SACHIIII~

Taka: **nods** Yes..

Sachi: **smirks and cocky voice** Good.

Taka: … So.. Let's see.. there is always medicine.. I have a brother who takes medicine and that works fine!

Sachi: Are you fucking people even certified for that sort of shit **annoyed voice then turns happy and girly** Cause like, I don't want like my mind to be all like totally weirded out ya know?

Taka: ._. … To Late for that..

Sachi: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY BISH!?

Taka: .___. N-nothing…err.. Well there is also therapy… oh wait that's our job.. fuuuck..

Sachi: … **waits**

Taka: **gets up and paces around the room. Suddenly a light bulb appears over her head, she runs over to one of the closests in the room. She stands up and turns around to face Tobi and Sachi, holding a black leather, top of the line brief case** I GOT IT! :3

Sachi: **sarcasm** Oh joy…. **Smile** I REALLY DO HOPE IT WORKS! **deathly voice** Or else you're dead..

Taka: -.- right.. anyways.. **opens suitcase and takes out one of those kewl squeaky toys for stress** When angry use this… **takes out a picture of Sasuke and Naruto kiss from the one episode** When your sad or depressed look at this. **takes out some duct tape** When you're hyper.. or loud use this.. **hands Sachi the rest of the suitcase** And for whatever else you need, it's in here :D **grins** Oh and here **takes a bottle out of her pocket** and use this to control you mood swings, and no prescription needed take it once a day.

Sachi: ._. A-alright.. **shaky shy voice takes it all and stands up **Thanks for the help~ :3

Taka: ^-^ Just doing my job!

Tobi; DID TOBI DO A GOOD JOB?!

Sachi: **annoyed lazy voice** Yeah sure, whatever.. **begins to walk out and down the hall, and passes Pein.**

Pein: **whispers to Takahira** well..? Are you beat up? Did she mind rape you or-

Taka: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU NO DIPWARD! I gave her some stuff to control it, including medicine :0

Pein: Oh really? What type?

Taka: You know the ones that I am supposed to take..

Pein: uh.. Takahira..

Taka: Hmmm?

Pein: … That made your problems worse…

Taka: ._. **goes to chase Sachi but sees she isn't there no more** … Fuck..

Pein: NICE GOIN'! SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DISOBEY ME AKA GOD!

Taka: … I really hate Sundays..


	11. FREE MONTHLY TRAIL!

Note: Hiya people I have a quick note: Want to apologize to the people who reviewed many months ago GOMEN! This is way I am added two therapy lesions per chapter. I Would love to thank you all tho I HAVE OVER 50 REVEIWS I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH **glomps all** Anyways enough with meh get to the fucking story!! ALSO THIS IS THE LOST CHAPTER (srsly I lost this chapter XD)

Taka/Tobi: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE **sliding down the hall in office chairs, steering / rowing with canoe paddles.**

Deidara: **opens the door to that hall** Hey yeah, what's with all the no- OMG UN

**CRASH**

**BOOM**

"FUCK YEAH!"

"AHH"

"TOBI ISH A GOOD BOY!

Kisame: **comes in with Hidan behind him** Hey what's with the no- WOOT DEIDARA YOU GO MAN! **sees Deidara who has one of his hands on poor Taka's boob**

Taka: …. -_-…. **eye twitch**

Deidara: -////- Should I move yeah?

Taka: What the fuck do you think?

Tobi: OHH DEIDARA-SENPAI AND TAKA-SAMA ARE DOING THE NAUGHTY!

Taka/Dei/Kisa/Hida: ._. ..

Taka: THAT'S IT GET THE FUCK OFF! NYA! **pushes Deidara off of her and glares at both him and Kisame**

**Suddenly the hall doors fly open as a blue of dark brown flies past Taka, Tobi, Kisame, Hidan and suddenly Deidara and some girl about 16 with dark brown almost black hair and same colored eyes was on top of Deidara.**

???: MWAHAHA YOUR MINE DEI-DEI-KUN Time for HaWt StEaMy SeX!

/**Or If you want we can EaT yOu InStEaD!/**

Deidara: ._. N-neither yeah..?

**doors slam open as a very familiar person or should I say persons that look very much alike**

Ciara: GET THE FUUUCK OF MY DEI-DEI-KUN WHOEVER YOU ARE!

???: I HAVE YOU KNOW I AM INSA-NE AND I WILL RAPE ALL THE AKATSUKI

**/NUU WE SHALL EAT THEM!/**

Emonnee/Taka: STAY AWAY FROM MY SASO-KUN **glare at each other** MINE… NO MINE NYAA!

Ciara: … **pulls Insa-Ne off Deidei** Anyways :D Hi Taka-sama

Taka: Yosh!

Pein: **walks in** .=. what THERE back?! And who ish this?! TELL ME I AM YOUR LEADER FOOOOOOLS D:

Insa-Ne: PEIIIIINNNNN! **goes to lunge at Pein a knife in her hand**

Pein: **simply moves aside and behind him is Zetsu, who gets stabbed by Insa-Ne… Zetsu slowly falls to the ground all life slowly falls all life drained from his planty body…**

Every1 except Tobi and Zetsu: …… fuck (un)

Tobi: _ **drags Zetsu's body to THE CLOSET!**

Taka: …. Well… uh..

Insa-Ne: **/MWAHAHAHA ONE DOWN REST TO GO!/**

But first I ne-

Sasori: **walks in oblivious to everything** What's going on..?

Insa-Ne: NYYA SASO-KUUUUUN **glomps at Sasori**

Emonnee/Taka: …. Get… Off…. Sasori… kun…

Insa-ne: No…

Taka: GET OFF HIM OR I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY AWSOME RUBBER AK47 MINT CONDITION BRAND NEW ULTRA HOT PINK THREE BULLET DAGGER SHOOTING LASER GUN CHICKEN OF MASS DISTRUCTION THAT CAN KILL 2 CHICKENS WITH ONE STONE MAKING THEM LOOK LIKE SWISS CHEEEESE!

Insa-Ne: ._. … Fine… I'll go rape like someone else…

**DAMN I WANTED TO EAT HIM TO!**

Sasori: … **has never felt safer in his life, hugs Taka, then Emonnee and gives her a kiss on the cheek**

Dei-dei: Heyyy I wanna kiss a pretty girl! **looks at Ciara and grins walks over to her and kisses her**

Ciara: .////.

Emonnee/Ciara: NYYAAA WE GOT KISSED BY TWO HOT GUYS! **run out of the building screaming happily**

Insae-Ne: … Well :D BACK TO THE RAPIG!

/**THEN THE FEEAAAST!/**

Taka: .. ' Listen Insa-Ne.. you srsly can't go around attempting to rape and or kill the Akatsuki

Insa-Ne but its fuuuun

Taka: … Not for those that are being sexed up or killed

Insa-Ne: b-but

**Killing ish fun! Mwahaha**

Deidara: Maybe for you yeah BUT I GOTTA LIVE YEAH!

Sasori; Tch… your useless your art isn't even art its just… nothingness

Deidara: Well that made a lot of sense Sasori-Danna yeah.

Sasori: Shut up brat!~

Deidara: No Yeah!

Sasori: :D that's what I thought

Deidara: aw danmit yeah…

Taka: ANYWAYS! Listen to get over this I think this calls for special treatment.

Kakuzu: WHAT ABOUT SPENDING MONEY FOR SPECAIL TREATMENT?!

Taka: Kaku-Kun the treatment is free,

Kakuzu: Good.. I can't have you going around and spending my moneh!

Taka: .. To late…

Insa-Ne: So =.= wat ish this special treatment?

Taka: Ah ya know, the usual. Lock you up in a nut job place thinger, where there's nothing but normal old, wrinkly people :3

Insa-Na: o.o anything else?

Taka: Well how about instead of raping them yourself… **grins evilly**

Akatsuki: O.O Oh boy…

Taka: You could watch them smex each other up!

Insa-Ne: … that does sound promising..

Taka: :3 I'll even give you your first free month trial, we'll send you the smexy goodness for free! For a whole month!

Insa-Ne: SIGN ME UP! X3 YAY SMEXY GOODNESS! Thanks a lot Taka-sama :D BYE ALL!

Every1: bye (un) -.-

Insa-Ne: *Leaves*

Pein: Hey weren't you supposed to get her adress and stuff?

Taka: …. O.o uhhh… Hehehehe I forgot?

Konan: Oh dear…

Taka: Well… I'm sure we'll hear from her soon enough '

Hidan: Jashin I hope not..

Taka: Well.. .another mission Failed :D WELL ITS SLEEP TIME NOW CUZ I WANT SLEEEPPPPZZZ O.o

Sasori: ~.~ Sleep is all you ever want..

Taka: Nuu Takahira-sama has other needs, she has yaoi, food, yaoi, violence, yaoi, friends, yaoi…. And did I mention yaoi?

Sasori: Only for the zillionth time

Taka: good ^-^ Wasn't sure if you heard meh :D

Sasori: ~.~ bye…


	12. Hyper and Emo Do NOT Mix

Taka: **sitting on floor boredly starring at a plain white wall.** ….

Sasori: **comes in and sees her.** … What are you doing?

Taka: … I don't know.. **jumps up and grins** SO WHAT'S ON THE AGENDA FOR TODAY!?

Sasori: Well we had several applications sent in from people that needed help but… we had to cancel some here are the names:

Felicia Uchiha Sorry we only help someone once.

Vildarra Sorry no spots are open, and we will dump your body somewhere….

Murasaki Shikibu Sorry we do not help problems like that.

shi-chan Hm An addiction to Anime but you still have a life? I see no problem.

Taka: Well that saves a lot of work ._.

Sasori: I guess '

Taka: **Sighs** ….

Sasori: What's wrong?

Taka: I feel like crying…

Sasori: O.o Why? What happened? I'll kill the bastard that hurt you.

Taka: **laughs slightly** Naw… Idk Why I ish sad… Just am.. Anyways tell Pein-sama I will be taking the night off…

Sasori: … Alright..

Taka: ^-^ Have fun w/o meh… **waves and leaves**

Tobi: **comes flying in** WEEEE- Sasori-Danna where is Takahira-chan?

Sasori: Went home for the day.

Tobi: T~T Aw Tobi wanted to play with Takahira-chan…

**Suddenly the buildings doors open to reveal a girl about uh… who cares anyways, she had hair that went down to her ass that was brown with green eyes.**

Sasori: **sighs** more work… **looks at the new comer** Welcome… how can Akatsuki Therapy help you?

???: Hi my name is Ermioni and of course I need help, I would like to talk to you Sasori-kun 3

Sasori: … Come with me… **leads ****Ermioni into a random room**

~~Still in the Lobby~~

Tobi: …. Tobi is bored…. Maybe Another person will come in so Tobi can make a friend :D

**Once again the Akatsuki's doors swung open and a girl with blond hair and blue eyes cam skipping in talking to a random fly as she came forward, suddenly the fly died and dropped dead on the ground.**

Konan: ._.'

???: HI MY NAME IS KARA AND I LIKE SERIOUSLY NEED HELP AND I WOULDLIKE TO TALK TO ITACHI 'CUZ HE SEEMS TO BE THE ONE I REAAALLLY NEED TO HELP AND HE'S ALSO THE BEST TO HELP ME!

Konan: …

Tobi: YAY A FRIEND!

Kara: YAY TOBI :D

Itachi: …. **comes in, sees Kara and Tobi all happy and goes to leave but is grabbed by the collar by Konan**

Konan: Itachi meet your newest patient!

Itachi: … Yay… .me.. -/.\-

Kara: YAY WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER **heart filled eyes**

Itachi: **latterly drags Kara to one of the rooms** Let's just get this the hell over with…

Kara: X3

Itachi: **lazily tosses her in a chair and leans against the wall** … **waiting to hear her problem**

Kara: ^.^ I REALLY want to become emo!

Itachi: … And I come in where?

Kara: Well isn't obvious your like the most emo person in the world!

Itachi: …. If you want to become emo… your already way past failure…

Kara: BUT THAT'S WHY I NEED YOUR HEEELP DAMNIT TELL ME YOUR EMO WAYSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Itachi: …. The sooner I help you the sooner you leave?

Kara: … Uh yeah?

Itachi: … Good then let's begin…

1: Emo's DO NOT and CAN NOT talk the hind legs off a donkey.

Kara: Eheheh…

Itachi: 2: They don't like other people, they don't hug other people, and they don't talk to other people unless it's a fellow emo.

Kara: ._. …

~~~With Sasori~~~

Sasori: See? That's why me and that pink haired girl can't be together. No matter what you and Takahira say.

Ermioni: BUT YOU TWO ARE LIKE, LIKE… AWSOMENESS PUT TOGETHER INTO ONE!

Sasori: …. Yeeeeeaaahh- no…

Ermioni: … B-but

Sasori: Shut up, I don't want to hear it!

Ermioni: BUT IT'S YOUR JOB!!

Sasori: I'm Sorry did I S-S-Stutter?

Ermioni: Well now you di-

Sasori: I DUN WANNA HEAR IT, GOOD BYE!

Ermioni: … D: Meaneh..

Sasori: I'm not getting paid at all so I can be as mean as I fucking want and not give a damn :D And I'm happeh.

Ermioni: I'M NOT LEAVING!

Sasori: … Orly now?

Ermioni: Yarly.

Sasori: Orly?

Ermioni: Yarly.

Sasori: Willyoubeleaving Orly?

Ermioni: Yarly- HEY WAITS CRAP!

Sasori: :D Goody! Good bye! **presses remote control, that came out of like no where joo knows?**

Ermioni: But Wa- **floor beneath her opens, and she falls into the great Akatsuki Abyss of DOOOOOOOM**

Sasori: That was fun.

~~~~W/ Itachi and Kara~~~

Itachi: **wraps up his wrist and puts away his razor** And that ends the lesson on cutting yourself .. Don't forget don't go across the street, go down the road.

Kara: ._. Mhmm… What else?

Itachi: **points at her clothes** Wrong.

Kara: D: WHYYY?

Itachi: Black. Dark. Abyss.

Kara: But… what about the colors..? I MEAN COLORS MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND N' ROU ND N' ROUND N' ROUND AND ROOOOUNND CUZ IT DOESN'T GO UP DOWN OVER DOWN OVER UP SIDE TO SIDE OR NUTTIN!

Itachi: **Feels like slamming head against brick wall** Shut up…

Kara: but whyyyy

Itachi: CUZ I FUCKING SAID SOOO X_X UR A FAILURE AT BEING EMO! YOU BRING US TO SHAME!

Kara: ._. S-so… cruel…

Itachi: Oh did I hurt your feelings

Kara: T-T Very much so…

Itachi: GOOD D:

Kara: Faggot…

Itachi: Hm? What was that??

Kara: o.o N-nothing!

Itachi: Ya know what… I'm not in a good mood, you think I'm emo, called me a faggot, and annoyed me to want to send myself into 72 hrs of me killing myself.

Kara: o.o IK YOU WHERE EMO YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF

Itachi: … You know what…? I dun with you! KISAME! GET! IN! HERE! NOW!

Kisame: **poofs in** Wuzzzuppp?

Itachi: .. **points at Kara** Lock her in the room with you… and show her THE DANCE!

Kara: ._.

Kisame: HELLZ YA **drags Kara into a closest as bright colorful lights come on, suddenly his pants disappear** NO PANTS DANNNNNCEEE!

Kara: o.o

~~Lobby~~

Itachi/Sasori: I hate this fucking job…

**Taka-Sama comes back in looking refreshed**

Taka-sama: I'M BAAACK AND IN THE BESTIEST MOOD EVAR

Sasori: **glares at her** … Quiet… I had to deal with a Sasosaku Fan girl..

Taka: **Heart filled eyes** NYA ANOTHER FOLLOWER! THERE SHOULD BE MORE, I MEAN YOU GUYS LOOKS SO KAWAII TOGETHER AND LIKE YEAH YOU TWO ARE LIKE PERFECT!

Sasori: -.- I'm leaving

Tobi: … Tobi didn't make any friend D:

Sasori: GOOD NOW ALL OF YOU GO HOME!

**END IK IK I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER. I haven't been in the mood lately and with school x_x bleh..**


	13. Another msg oOo

Deidara: Hola! Come te llamo? Me llamo es Deidara un! Como estas? Yo es muy muy fantasti-

Sasori: ... What… are… you… SAYING?!

Deidara: Como? Yo no habla en ingles.

Sasori: x.x WTF?!

Takahira: Hola!

Deidara: Buenos tardes senora Takahira

Takahira: : )

Sasori: …. TRANSLATE FOR ME PLEEEEASEEE

Takahira: Well first were just greeting each other in Spanish.

Sasori: … right now… What about those announcements?

Takahira: OH YEAAAHHH! Here are some announcements:

This is to Felicia Uchiha: Hun listen, only one session pure person at least until I'm all caught up.

Next Sorry about not updating I ran out of funny for like EVER. Now I'm back on track I printed out the people I haven't done yet =D And the ones I feel I can make a decent story with. So I'm really sorry If you don't see yours up there I either have no clue wut to type or I just haven't gotten to it.

Next I will be writing my stories before I type most because my brother likes to use the computer a lot so ya and also just because when I write then type I go back and fix and make this story so much moar coolerz. :D

Sasori: …. Coolerz… As if….

Deidara: Sasori es muy stupido

Sasori; … You want to die, cause I know wut u just said this time!

Kisame: **comes in and hugz Takahira** x3

Takahira: O.o Per-personal… bubble… brea-breakage!

Kisame: Nyaa She's just to cute!

Sasori: … Kisame… your killing her

Kisame: NUUU

Tobi: O.O NU GET OFF TAKAHIRA-CHAN OR FISHY-SENPAI WILL KILL HERRRR DUN KEEL TOBI'S BFF **jumps on kisame's head and starts punching his head**

Kisame: ACK STOPPEEEETTTT ARRFIOGHDFIOGHDIOHGIOHDEGIOER

Takahira: GETTTTT OFFF MEEEE

Sasori: STOP SHOUTINGGGGG!

Deidara: COMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!

Sasori: STOP W/ THE FUCKING SPANISH! **tackles Deidara they get into a fight**

Pein: …. **walks in** SILENCE AS YOUR LEADER I COMMAND U TO STFU!

-Enter Hidan and Kazuku-

Hidan: PRAY TO MY GOD DAMNIT!

Kazuku: NU LIKE HELLZ I WILL!

Hidan: THEN MAY JASHIN DUNT HAVE MERCY ON UR POOR STUPID SOUL!~

Kazuku: AS LONG AS IT DON'T COST ME IDFK!

Hidan: IODFOHWEOHFO **tackles Kazuku**

Kazuku: **starts fighting with Hidan** LSDFJEIOPF

Pein: … You know what screw this I'm out Cya ppl!


	14. Dancing, Abyss, Success, BIRDZ!

Takahira: Dun dun de dum dun CHUCK NORRIS!

Itachi: ….? **raises an eyebrow**

Takahira: Nvm~~

So what do we got coming in today?

Itachi: **takes a clipboard out from like no where** Let's see we have:

Kaylyn, but she wants to be called Lyn. She wants to go dancing but no one will go with her.

Takahira: … Dancing….

Itachi: **nods**

Takahira: …. **Grins**

Kisame: Ohh she's up to somethinggggggggggg~

Takahira: I have stuff to and Lyn wont be here for a while soo… I'll be back **quickly leaves grinning**

-Pein and Konan enter-

Kisame: Oi, Leader-sama! Isn't evaluation day today?

Pein: Oh my self that's today?!

Konan: Yes dear…

Pein: O.o Everyone.. be on your best behavior today, Idk when the person will be coming in.

-every1 nods-

**Doors open to reveal a boy around 13yrs old whose hair was disturbingly defying gravity (a.k.a he has spiky hair) and cheerful gray eyes. He began to skip toward the group.**

Konan: Hello, what's your name and how may we 'help you'?

Sug-arush: HIYA! My names Sug-arush and… I NEEDS LOTZ OF HELP, CUZ LIKE I'M ._. … hyper….

Konan: O.o okay.. who do you want to see?

Sug-arush: TOBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Tobi; 3 FINALLY SOME1 WANTS TO PLAY WITH TOBI!

Sug: x)

Itachi: is it legal to have Tobi help anyone?

Tobi: Teehee Silly Ita-kun Tobi isn't legal anywhere cuz Tobi ish an s-ranked criminal!

Nao LETS GO TO THE ROOM OF HAPPYNESS!

Sug: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY HAPPYNESS!

Both: **Run into a random therapy room**

~In Ze room~

Tobi: So wut does Sug-kun need?

Sug: I ish rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly hyper and random worse then even Tobi senpai!

Tobi: Wow that's rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly rly hyper and random.

Sug: Ya so can like Tobi he- OH MY GOSH A BIRDIE!

Tobi: WHERE?! **both flock toward the window to go find the birdeh!~**

~Back in ze main room!~

Konan: **flips through a magazine on nail polish and stuff** …

Kisame: … hey… I just realized something…

Itachi: **looks up from his book on how to kill your clan for dummies special edition** ? Wut.

Kisame: … No one has asked me fore help….

Hidan: Its fucking obvious!

Kazuku: ….

**Doors open again to reveal a blond haired girl whose hair reached practically to her bum and she wore a t-shirt that read ACDC Back in Black and black jeans. She stopped and looked around after she heard the door close she quickly went back to make sure it was shut, she repeated that several times. She finally walked up to the desk**

Konan: Hello how may we help you?

Hitomi: … My names Hitomi un and… **looks back to see if doors shut** I need help and **checks again** _ Can I just see some1 for help un?!

Konan: … alright who would you like to see?

Hitomi: Let's see who do I want to help me… do I even want help? Ya I do… do I? Ya,… no wait.. yes … no … Deidara? Itachi? Hidan..? Yes.. NO I DON'T… wait YES… YES I DO I WOULD LIKE TO SEE HIDAN ITACHI OR DEIDARA UN!

Konan: .o. Okay… well Deidara can only help for a bit… along with Hidan

Hitomi: for Jashin's sakes can I just get help un?!

Konan: **Grabs the three quickly and points them to a random room**

-W/ the four of them-

Itachi: … **doesn't want to be there**

Deidara: How ish saying un after everything bad un?! Its uber awesome un!

Hidan: and loving Jashin bitch is not a problem!

Hitomi: **makes sure window is closed.** ….. **goes back and checks again** … OMG THAT LAMPS NOT ON! **runs over and turns lamp on walks over to others stops halfway and goes back to make sure its still on**

Itachi: **gets annoyed with this and gets up grab her and duck tapes her to a chair** …

Hidan: Alright now to deal with that fucking OCD thing.. if you did something once, leave it the fuck alone and if you're not sure then fuck it and move the hell on get me bitch?

Hitomi: … Maybe you should check to make sure I'm properly tied up…. Wait… is that light off…? OMG DID I CLOSE THE DOOR TO THIS PLACE??

Hidan: …………………………. You fucking make me want to eat babies! BAIBIES I FUCKING TELL YOU BABIES!

Deidara: … un

Hitomi: x[ I'M SOWWY! Alright, alright… **takes a deep breath**

Deidara: Good un.

Itachi: As Hidan said… you need to take everything more calmly if you want this all to stop. And if you keep this up… You'll be duck taped to this chair…… for an….. EtErNiTy!

Hitomi: o.o O-okay…. **holds back the urge to ask if the tape is properly taped up**

Deidara: Alright here's an idea. Think of yourself as a bird.

Hidan: What the fuck are you getting at you she-male?

Deidara: … **twitches** Think a bird as no cares, none, what so ever, nada, zip, zero.

Itachi: **nods knowing what he's getting at**

Deidara: So Itachi.. Hypnotize her to make her believe she's like a bird.

Itachi: … Alright… **He actives his Sharigan (Sp? Cuz idc XD) looks at Hitomi in the eyes does some awesome stuffz (ya… even the perverts have a say in wut he did XD) and the stops**

Hidan: **releases Hitomi from the duck tape and watches**

Hitomi: **sits there for a second**

Deidara: Do you think she's alri-

Hitomi: SQUAWK!

Dei/Hid/Ita: o.o ?

Hitomi: **Starts flapping her arms as if they were wings**

Hidan: Oh fawk….

Deidara: …. Itachi-Senpai… un

Itachi: Hn… don't even say it.

Hitomi: **starts running around the room 'flapping' her 'wings'** SQUAWK, SQUAWK!

Kisame: … What is that? **peeking through the door**

Hitomi: …. SQUAWK! (FISH!) **Starts attacking Kisame**

Kisame: AHHHHHH! **gets chased out of the building**

Itachi: ….

Deidara: w00t! Sweet smell of failure!

Konan: -.- That's going out of your paycheck

Deidara: hey is it just me or are Tobi and that Sug guy taking a long time?

Hidan: Why don't you fucking go check on him then?!

Deidara: … good idea un. **opens door across hall** hey guys you alright in the-

Tobi: Now… breath in….. breath out. Think of this as realizing any if not all of your stress. Like a calm river crashing against the shores. Back and forth, back and forth.

Sug: Yes Sensei…

Kon/Kis/Dei/Hid/Kak: OH MY GOD HE DID IT!

Sug: I'm cured… I feel calm as a bird thankies bye bye **leaves**

Ita/Dei/Hid: ….. bird….

Pein: OMG WE ACTUALLY CURED SOME1?! HAPPY DAYS HAPPY DAYS!

-Please wait a few moments while the author takes a minute to dance-

…

……

……..

…………

……………..

…………………

……………...

………….

………

…….

….

Deidara: Is she done ye- WHAT NO! **suddenly Deidara appears wearing a frilly pink mini dress with loads of make up and jewelry ohohoh dun't forget the 10 inch pumps!** …..T-T Ya She's not done yet…

-Still waiting-

COMPLETE UR STORY IS READY TO BE CONTINUED GET READY TO LOSE BRAINS CELLZ!-

Deidara: T.T My dignity!

Hidan: Serves you right woman!

**A girl with blond hair tied up in a bun with her bangs down enters the hall way. Her blue eyes widened when she saw Deidara in the dress, the author could only chuckle darkly at the sight she created**

???: OHMYGOSH DEIDARA-SENPAI IS YOU ALRIGHT?! **Huggles**

Deidara: **huggles back** You're the only one that understands.

Hidan: do you even know who the fuck that is?!

Rach: My names Rachel call me Rach, and I need help! I CARE TO FUCKING MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!

Hidan: …. Which one of these loser has to help you.

Rach: You and Kakuzu:

Hidan: I feel bad for those fucking losers wait… I'M HIDAN!

Deidara: **now in normal clothes sighs dramatically **I knew he'd find the dark truth out one of these days, I jus tthought it would never come this soon!

Kakuzu: Tch… Loser…

Rach:

Hidan: SHUT UP ASSHOLE OR ON JASHIN'S NAME YOU'LL REGRET IT I FUCKING SWEAR TO JASHIN!

Kakuzu: Good…. Let's get this over with.

-In ze room w/ Kakuzu and Hidan and also Rach!-

Hidan: So let me get this straight…. You fucking care so much you don't want to give two shits anymore? Am I fucking true or not? SPEAK BISH!

Rach: ya.. and I don't think swearing is good for your health… or other people's health for that matter.

Hidan: Do I look like I fucking care about health or anyone else for that matter?!

Rach: well no bu-

Hidan: : SILENCE OR I KEEL JOO!

Rach: .O. B-BUT THAT WILL MAKE PEOPLE SAD, I CARE TO MUCH TO MAKE OTHERS SAD!

Hidan: THAT'S IT TO THE GREAT AWSOME ABYSS OF HAPPYNESS AND DOLPHINS FOR YOU! **grabs Rach by the hair and brings her said abyss don't ask where it is, cuz this author loves her secret abyss STAY BACK OR I'LL EAT JOO!**

-----Back in the lobby------------------------------------

Takahira: MY LOVELY AKATSUKI MEMBERS 3 I'M BAAACK~

Tobi: YAY TAKA-SAMA!

Takahira: Ya, ya yay me yay me! I'm all ready for Lyn-chan to come! (Thought I forgot didn't cha?! WELL BWAR HAR, HAR I DIDN'T!)

Lyn: **walks in looking slightly down** … I want to go dancing…

Takahira: LYNNNN-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Lyn: OHMYGOSH ISH TAKAHIRA SAMA! **both huggles**

Takahira: One moment. AKATSUKI GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE NOW!

--All Akatsuki got their asses in there-

Takahira: Lyn, Akatsuki, me… WE'RE GOING DANCING TONIGHT!!!!!

Akatsuki/Lyn: w00t!!!

Well since I suffer from sever case of laziness here's wut happened, Akatsuki partied hard along w/ Lyn and Takahira. Kisame got drunk tired making a move on Takahira only to get bit by a drunk Takahira thinking Kisame was real fish. Tobi stayed normal, well sorta… dun't forget this is Tobi where talking about. Itachi went out to get the _good stuff_ Zetsu sold Itachi the _good stuff_ Pein and Konan where drunk had had some _fun_ Hidan got kicked out from cussing to much. Kakuzu didn't do anything sat in a dark corner… all the money wasted… for this… Lyn and Takahira danced for an eternity with Deidara and Sasori.

Le FIN! (The END)


	15. OH SNAP

Takahira: …. I don't like you.

Kisame: Well I could say the same thing to you, Shorty.

Takahira: You know what Kisame, go home. Cardboard boxes don't count either.

Kisame: WELL YOU KNOW WHAT. ATLEAST… at least... I HAVE FRIENDS.

Itachi: *looks up from painting nails*... Bad more Kisame...

Takahira: … *goes into depression.*

Sasori: *walks in and sees Takahira* … Who said she didn't have friends?!

Itachi: Kisame.

Kisame: Gee thanks Itachi…..

Sasori: You know plain well Takahira has been having friend issues; you should treat her with the up most respect she deserves. Al-

*Akatsuki doors open to reveal a girl, she walks and sits in a random chair*

Takahira: OI A NEW PATIANT! *runs over to the new arriver* HI MY NAME IS TAKAHIRA, I LIKE SASORI I DISLIKE INO PIG… AND UM… What do you need help with today? 

Mira: My names Mira and um.. I need some help trying to figure out some problems I have revolving around someone, in other words I have mixed feelings.

Takahira: *nods understandingly* Anyone in particular you would like to see?

Mira: Nope.

Takahira: :D Good then your with me sista!

Kisame: Good luck dealing with her *whispers to Mira*

Takahira: *death glare at Kisame* Humph! *drags Mira to a random therapy room*

Sasori: … You should really be careful.

Kisame: Yeah, yeah.

*Another girl walks through the Akatsuki doors, looking annoyed like hell.*

Lily: .. Let's just get this over with, my name is Lily, I don't want to be here. My problem is I love blood gore ext so much I blew up my whole neighborhood yadayadayada. I have terrible mood swings, so let's get this the hell over with. Oh and I want to talk to Sasori and Deidara.

Itachi: Interesting…

Kisame: HEY SASORI DEIDARA GETS YOUR ASSES IN HERE.

Sasori and Deidara: What (un)

Itachi: Patient.

Sasori: This way; *brings Lily to random therapy room*

~~~in takahira's therapy room~~~

Takahira: I see. So you don't like Sasuke because he left. You also love him, because, everyone looves Sasuke.

Mira: Yeah..

Takahira: I get where your coming from don't worry. I'm the same way. Also I just like Itachi-kun better.

Mira: So you've gone through this state?

Takahira: Darling, I've been through plenty of states. You really have to narrow it down, really look at what sasuke's done and say to yourself "Mira, you're talking to yourself. You've finally lost it, but Do I really think sasuke leaving his friends, home turning against them all joining Oro-Teme nearly killing his bff makes me love him? Or does it make me hate him? Is it worth loving him?" Or something like that. You just need to observe everything he's done and decide from there.

Mira: I guess… But Uh.. Didn't you blow him up?

Taka: *giggles* Teehee Naw, that was a stunt double.

Mira: Was the blood real? Cause that shit was awesome.

Taka: HECK YA! I'm not all fun and games, I blow people up as well!

~~~W/ Sasori and Deidara~~

Lily: Man this is annoying…

Sasori: *nods*

Deidara: I'M SO HAPPY YEAH!

Lily/Sasori: *glares at Deidara*

Deidara: …. Fft.. I'm just glad she used explosives to kill them all…

Sasori: *sighs* Of course..

Lily: whatever. Anyways.. Just help me become 'normal' so my friends say.

Sasori: Well for us… something like that is completely normal...

Lily: Well… Iunno what to do then. JUST FUCKING HELP ME.

Deidara: Calm down yeah… I think I might have the solution! TO MAKE A HAPPY LILY YEAH! *punch\\es fist into the air, Naruto style.*

Lily: Why do I have the feeling im going to hate you forever because of this?

Deidara: Because you will. Now… there is only one true way to make a person happy.

Sasori: wait…. You don't mean…

Deidara: YEAH! *grabs Lily's arm and pulls her to a totally white room with a singal tv that takes up a whole wall.* Okay yeah, this is time for the huge change yeah. *walks away to the door after strapping Lily into a chair tightly so she can't escape, presses a button on a remote and barney starts to play*

Lily: OH GOD NO. PLEASE NO LILY WILL BE GOOD LILY WILL BE GOOD! *struggling to get away*

Deidara: Not yet yeah! *walks out of the room, making sure to lock the door with several dead bolts, a medieval lock, than some other locks the author is to lazy to name and/or remember*

Sasori: Is that seriously the only solution?

Deidara: No not really yeah.

Sasori: Oh that's cruel *smirks*

~~ Back with Takahira and Mira~~

Takahira: So like… Now every time I see Sasuke I'm like: GOD I REALLY SHOULD'VE BLOWN YOU UP?!

Mira: Uh-huh. But you were a nice person and blew the stunt double up.

Takahira: Yeah, he gave me a bottle of DIET coke. I said fucking Coke. I told him he was going to get his ass fired. Then I decided, burns will heal, let's blow him up!

Mira: EPIC.

Takahira: Yeah… good time , good times… speaking of time, where outta time! Adios mi amigo.

Mira: Aww… Cya, thanks for the help! *leaves skipping*

Takahira: *walks out to the lobby where the rest of the Akatsuki is*

Pein: Well she seemed happy.

Takahira: Well I was in a good mood for on-

Kisame: PFFT. Your just a suck up.

Takahira: … What did you say Fishy-teme

Kisame: …. OH SNAP!

Takahira: OH YEAH I WENT THERE.

Deidara: *enters* Ew Takahira-Sama went THERE yeah?

Takahira: EWWWW.

Pein: Ah Sasori, Deidara your done with your patient as well?

Deidara: No we need to wait a few hours yeah.

Sasori: *still smirking*

*suddenly theres a huge expolosion from where lily was*

Kisame: OH SHIZ NITZ

Lily: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE, YOU MADE ME WATCH THAT?! OF ALL THINGS?!

Deidara: QUICK YEAH! TO THE "OH SNAP WE FAILED MISERABLY HELPING A PATIENT' BASEMENT FOR COVER.

*Takahira and the whole Akatsuki runs in fear of Lily, who some how came across a vacuum cleaner and chases them, luckily they all made it to the safety of the basement and Lily leaves the Clinic, to unleash her rage upon the poor poor helpless peoples.*

Hidan: What the hell… YOU KNOW WHAT. I'M ENDING THIS CRAP. GOOD BY *Walks over to the author who is working her hardest to please people, whispers something and she stop-


	16. Pausing or Stopping?

Takahira: Hello My fellow Akatsuk therapy readeers!

I have come bearing some saddening news…. I will putting Akatsuki Therapy on either a long pause, or a permanent Cancel. :/ Due to lack of Naruto on T.V and just plain lack of interest, yes the sadness of non interest in Naruto as finally kicked in. Though I must say I was into it for 5 Years =D and I still don't mind it as much, but really. I don't have much more to go with this series. I feel very horrible… I have over 150 (? Not sure haven't checked in a while) Reviews and only like… idk how many chapters up.

And so your wondering what the hell I'm doing now? Well Mon Amies I am still writing fan fiction, but for Axis Powers Hetalia. I feel bad for suddenly stopping the series, but I don't know I've just kind of got tired of the randomness or something? I don't know, I just can't seem to think of any new ideas… Sorry… Maybe I'll pick it up one day again? I dunno… Once more forgive my lack of interest *kicks hormones* YOU SUCK. Oh and so does like America slightly for not letting Naruto Shippuden be on T.V 'Cause I have no interest on watching it on the internet when It could easily be showed on T.V. Yeah I'm obnoxious… SO Yeah. Sorry.


End file.
